Mummy, are you coming home?

abcol.ac.uk

I went on a business trip earlier this week. I was away from the little ones for 3 days, on the other side of the world.

Naturally I was anxious before I went about how they’d react, how I’d react, and whether they’d be ‘unsettled’ by it. Yes, that dreadful word that enters our vocabulary the moment we become parents and, so far, shows no signs of departing.

I put them to bed on Sunday night before heading to the airport. Given the time difference it wasn’t going to be easy to talk to them on the phone, which I decided was probably the best thing for all of us. However, having been away for ‘two sleeps’ already, I decided to call home late one night, catching them just before bedtime.

It was lovely to hear their little voices and, much to my delight, they sounded very happy, totally preoccupied with supper and the daily goings on, and, in fact, quite ‘settled’.  My son did eventually ask me IF, not WHEN, I was coming home. A good sign, I think…

Before I left last weekend, I read an interview in the Saturday Times with Harriet Harman who said that ‘being a mother means feeling guilty all the time’.  Clearly the endless worry and anxiety is a permanent feature of life with children, however, five years in, I feel that I might just be making inroads as far as the guilt is concerned. So Harriet, I’m afraid I disagree.

Boarding school lessons

Yikes, watching BBC2's Britain's Youngest Boarders and have already been in tears. Several times.


My OH boarded from the age of 7 and swears it was the 'making of him'. I know boarding schools provide first class education and can understand the benefits from a learning point of view (only) but how can parents justify it? What is the rush to pack them off to help them to "become independent" and "lead their own lives"? Doesn't that just happen to all of us, naturally and when we're ready for it? 


Am sure lots of people disagree, but the thought of packing my little ones off and not seeing them on a weekly basis or more is too much to bear! Even on those more 'challenging' days. This evening was a good example, little one demanding "fresh air" at bedtime. Unable to sleep without it apparently. Took me a while to convince him otherwise...

The art of handwriting

I attended a handwriting class at school last week, along with lots of other mums and a few dads. The idea was to teach us cursive writing so that we can help our 5 year olds who'll be learning the 'art' this year.


It was quite an eye opener. Having been brought up in the 1970s most of us admitted to having terrible handwriting and we came to the conclusion that handwriting couldn't have been on the curriculum in those days. Always good to have an excuse.


It looks very pretty but seemed quite complicated for us so must be even more so for little people who usually write higgledy piggledy letters across the page, all at different heights and leaning in different directions. Anyway, we are now armed with the tools to help so this time, no excuses!

The latest cutbacks - school holidays?

(alphabetstreet.com.au)

So this week the Government is suggesting shortening the school summer holidays. I agree that it's important to do something to help poorer families and, although we're pretty new to the world of school holidays, I can see that the long break presents a huge challenge to some parents.


However, I've expressed my views on the long summer break in an earlier post. I think it's really important for children to have some time to switch off and would be interested to see the evidence to prove that 6 weeks makes a really significant difference to learning. 


Given tonight's Twitter debate on homework, discussing whether our primary school children should be given homework at all, there are many parents who feel that children already have too much on their plates. There's a strong view that homework disrupts family life, puts unnecessary stress on children and that 'home' time should be kept entirely separate from school work. Surely reducing the summer holidays would only add to this stress? 


There must be other solutions worth exploring. For example, if we had a culture of summer camps for kids as in the US (perhaps subsidised for poorer families) both children and parents could benefit.


And a final thought, isn't it a little simplistic and hugely patronising to assume that parents from poorer families will not support their children's learning in any way over the long break? I certainly think so.

Mummy, can I have an orang-utan, I mean, a nectarine?

by ianmichaelthomas http://www.flickr.com/photos/7533960@N02/2290326447/

The only downside to hosting a party is the sheer volume of thank you letters we have to write. I say 'we' in the full knowledge that my little one is probably too young to take full responsibility for drafting 40+ notes, so it's down to me and if we're lucky he'll write his name on each/ most/ some of them...


So, to distract myself from the task in hand, I began thinking about words, our knowledge of them, how we learn and whether or not it's a Mum's duty to always correct mispronunciations!


Mr FM and I have hours of fun listening to the little people getting words confused but, as is always the way, I'm wondering if we ought to be correcting them as we go? We don't, and in fact rarely have, but are we making our children laughing stocks?


So, some of the reasons we resist correction are below:


- calling a cucumber a 'kookabumba' sounds so much better
- asking to put your 'candle shoes' on instead of sandals is surely more magical (as is checking that the birthday cake has 'sandals' on it before we sing...)
- thinking you're 'owmost' grown up is sweeter than simply being 'almost' an adult
- "you making me a headache!" never get tired of that one...
- (brushing hair) " Mummy I make you bootifull hair-dress"


Too sweet to be wrong....

The learning curve

Two thoughts for today's post - the first is about learning in the school holidays - should we or shouldn't we be following up with schoolwork?


Given that my little one is so young, I decided that his first school holidays should be filled with fun, family time and friends. So we ditched the school books and kicked back for the summer. 


Fortunately he is quite a little studious little person so was still interested in listening to those jolly phonics CDs every time we got in the car and did a bit of writing here and there whenever he was interested, rather than being pushed, to do it.

Clearly I haven't quite been brave enough to admit this to the teacher and I don't yet know what impact this will have had on his learning, but I'd be interested in other views - should we be continuing to push them throughout the holidays to read, write, learn with numbers? Is it the case that their little brains need some wind down time? Are they then in danger of forgetting much of what they've learned? As usual, I went with instinct so he really was allowed to switch off completely although I was a little concerned on Monday morning when he told me he couldn't remember how to write the number '2'....

The second point is a quick summary of our 'learnings' from hosting our first ever, proper kids' party on Sunday. My husband decided to be head clown, I mean, entertainer, and did a brilliant job. We had 34 kids in a church hall and a schedule of party games as long as your arm... 


It was brilliant fun and my 'learnings' are as follows:


1. teach your little one the lyrics to "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" ahead of the big event, bound to come in handy....
2. Haribos are key - to refuelling at the birthday tea, to rewards for winners when we'd run out of silly toys and to help mend sore knees/ general bumps and bruises
3. an Abba CD can go a long way (musical bumps, musical statues, general 'disco' dancing...)
4. never arrange a party without a supply of bubbles at the ready (the fairy liquid kind I mean but the other kind wouldn't go amiss...)
and, finally
5. rope in as many adult helpers as you can - grandparents, aunts, uncles and a few friends to provide much-needed and very welcome assistance throughout!

First things first

A day of many firsts today. 


1.  I didn't cry when little one went back to school


2.  I found time to leave the office at lunchtime and went for a jog (!!)


3. I encouraged a friend to start her own blog AND showed her how to do it


So all in all a very good day. Little one bounced off to school in a Tigger-like fashion, desperately eager to get there. Meanwhile I kept it together and am now beginning to feel almost guilty about my calm, measured reaction to his return to the classroom, as opposed to the lump in my throat, whimpering every time he looked in my direction and unladylike sobbing that last year's 'first day at school' brought on. 

On the subject of first days at school, yesterday's Twitter discussion led by Kirstie Allsop (http://twitter.com/KirstieMAllsopp) about  the optimum age for kids to start school sparked some interesting comments. My little one is the youngest in his class and so was the youngest in the school last year. He turned 4 and went to school 3 days later,  doing full days from the outset. While he loved school he was completely exhausted for the whole of the 1st term and regularly missed school due to illness. 


I spent most of last summer fretting about it and trying to understand how my 'baby' could be forced to wear a uniform and sit in class all day, however, luckily for us, he absolutely loved every minute of it and used to cry when holidays came around!


Obviously every child is different and I know that what works for some won't work for others, however, I think there are a few reasons for him being so happy:


1. he goes to a really small school - it's very local and it's a one class intake so not too intimidating on day one
2. the school's view is that staggered starts are actually more difficult for little ones as when they join they soon become aware that they don't know the same things about learning, the routines, the friendships as the others and so can feel a little left out or take longer to get up to speed.
3. the school is hugely understanding and respects the different ages of the children, particularly in Reception. They can go at their own pace and I loved the fact that my son was blissfully unaware of anyone else's levels, rate of progression and learning until the last few weeks of the year when he suddenly clicked! I think preserving this and appreciating that they will all develop differently is brilliant.


Also, for anyone worried about very young ones starting school this year, I found that the difference between first term and second term was enormous. Suddenly his stamina improved (he wasn't so grumpy after school!) and he didn't have one day off for the rest of the year which was a big surprise. My tips, for what they're worth, are:


- proper snacks after school (sandwich, drink etc.) regardless of what they've had / tell you they've had at lunch - gives them the energy to keep going through to teatime, bathtime etc.
- v quiet holidays - we did nothing at half term and Xmas and just allowed him to relax which helped a lot
- TV - he really needed to lie down and just switch his brain off after school so I just went with it. Once he'd had some food and a rest he brightened up again so I think the key is not to make too many rules for yourself / the kids and not to try to fight it. The new routine soon works itself out and everyone settles down.


So that's it, best of luck to all mums and little ones settling into new schools this autumn!!